I am reminded of a beautiful Sufi story.
When Al-Hillaj Mansoor went to his master Junnaid, his
family, his friends, even his neighbors had all come out of the town to say goodbye. He was going
in search of truth. When he reached Junnaid, he entered; Junnaid was alone sitting in the mosque.
He asked, ”May I come in, sir?”
Junnaid looked at him, and looked here, and looked there, and said, ”First leave the crowd out! And
you have some nerve to ask, ‘May I come in, sir?’ Then why is this crowd all around you?”
Al-Hillaj could not believe... he looked all around, there was nobody.
Junnaid said, ”Don’t look all around, close your eyes! and then look all around. Your friends, your
family, your neighbors – they are still there.”
He closed his eyes and he was surprised. The people he had left behind... he was still remembering
them: their tears, their last greetings, the elder ones giving him their last blessings. They were all
there, the whole crowd was there.
Junnaid said, ”Get out, with this whole crowd! When you are alone then ask, ‘May I come in, sir?’”
It took seven months. Al-Hillaj used to live outside the mosque; the master used to live inside.
Hundreds of disciples would come and go, and thinking that he must be a shoemaker or a shoeshiner,
they would put their shoes in front of him. And sitting there doing nothing... he thought, ”This
is not bad,” so he started polishing their shoes.
After seven months, one night when there was nobody around, Junnaid came out and said, ”Al-Hillaj,
come in.”
But Al-Hillaj said, ”Forgive me, sir. Now I cannot ask, ‘May I come in, sir?’ because that ‘I’ is also
gone. I am absolutely alone.”
Junnaid said, ”That’s why I had to come. You stupid! Come in. I knew that now it will be difficult for
you to ask the question, because who will ask the question? The crowd is gone, and with the crowd
that fellow who used to be ‘I’ – that too is gone. And the poor fellow is shining shoes...” And Al-Hillaj
belonged to a very rich, royal family.
Junnaid said, ”That’s why I have come in the middle of the night, to bring you in. When you are not
then you are called in; when you are not then the whole existence is ready to receive you.”
Your question is intellectual. Avoid intellectual questions. If they arise, try first to experience them
and you will find the answer yourself.
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